"Asphalt Wave Saga" CHAPTER 1: The longest jump, the furthest fall.

Good evening / afternoon / morning depending on when you're reading this.

As you will know, I've a few projects going on in the background, including a novel that I'm twenty two chapters deep.
One of these projects is a product and while I still plan to be vauge about it on this blog, close friends are aware and have been aware of it's conception for over two years.  

I guess where I'm going with this post is simple.






I am going to release this project.

And it will be a success.






However...

My other half, who works in large corporations managing even larger projects was drafted in for her expertise, something I'm normally adverse towards (mixing business with relationships).
She spent a hour pawing at a keyboard before giving me an Excel file and explaining how it worked.

After our conversation it became apparent that my self-doubt and fears of failure stemmed from a large mass of data that's sat inside my skull, this data that flew about causing chaos desperately needed to be tamed.

This Excel spreadsheet worked out the steps needed to get the product ready to launch set into daily tasks with plenty of fat (fat means excess time to complete a goal to compensate for unseen complications).
Once I saw the timeline stretch out (until nearly may) it did dawn on me that this was a tremendous amount of work but after a moment of that, I felt calm, focused and precise.

I now KNOW what to do each day and this was the key aspect holding me back. Previously I had all these other stresses and thoughts racing around my head as I bumbled through the work but now i had clarity.

Lot's of clarity.

I've decided (since my job is fairly quiet until february) that I'd make the right decision. To be focused, tuned in and precise I needed to remove negative influences from my life, make time and knuckle down for one hell of a ride.
After a long discussion with my other half, who is very logical based, we came to the conclusion that the only real way I could give this a shot at 100% of my ability is to give 100% of my time.

And that means leaving my job.

"you gotta break a few eggs to make an omelette"

Now before people think this is a good path, I'd like to stress I have saved up a good buffer of money to last me through and I'd never suggest anyone just leave their work and follow their dreams if they couldn't commit 100% to it.

This is the longest jump.
 Leaving the safety of work and grinding each day in my bedroom / office / design studio isn't going to be easy, but it is however necessary if I want to make this product a reality and begin the birth of my own business.

The longest fall is if I don't give this my all or the project is a flop, on the one hand my position in life will be worsened but I will be able to say I gave it my best shot before looking at other ventures.

It's only failure if you take nothing from it.

.

Recently I've been reading this, it's a GREAT book on understanding the psychology of habits and how we both form and CAN change them, I will be utilizing some of the techniques in my marketing campaign as well as my health and fitness.

I've never had a problem exercising, I have the right cues, habits and rewards systems in place that keep me encouraged and active.
When it comes to eating however, more so this time of the year, I let myself go a bit. I did this originally to give me a break from strict food and exercise routines but now it's become a habit, and one I plan to end. As of today I'm going to slowly try and reprogram my brain into better food habits, avoiding boredom eating etc.

I can highly recommend the book, it's a decent read and not too big.

Now to end this post, I WILL BE (to the best of my ability) blogging each day starting Sunday, throughout the experience. These will not be long posts, but just summaries of the experience so that it's fairly well documented.


Thanks for Reading viewers, I love you all.

Past, Present and Future #2

THE PAST:

The person in this photograph (it's the least intrusive photo I own of said person) is one of my closest friends, who for the sake of this blog, is called Jeff Nerval (That is a fake name... I know you know, but I was just checking... all right, calm down I'll carry on!).

I've known Jeff for a large number of years, since my last year in Highschool if I remember correct (which I often can't thanks to the whole memory issue thing discussed before)

Anyway I digress, when I met Jeff he was just another guy in a bunch of guys who all spent our weekends causing trouble, going on adventures and drinking heavily.

Fun Jeff Fact# 1: 
I accidently made Jeff quit drinking alcohol when I jokingly told him to "down it" when he was sipping from a 70cl of Vodka... He then, to everyone's surprise, downed it, fell off a cemetery wall onto a tombstone, ran off into the night and eventually "instant-translocated" (Don't ask) before having to go to hospital and have his stomach pumped. He didn't drink for around 10 years.

Throught the years Jeff has been a constant, he has obviously grown up a lot as have we all but the adventures mostly came to an end once he became addicted to online gaming.

The reason this is put into the past section (even if we are still currently very close friends) is because he is the one friend I've never had a major issue with. Sure I have my minor niggling things, but that's part of who he is and I'm not deluded in thinking I'm perfect, far from it.

Jeff Grievances:
1. Smokes heavily... what makes it worse is that he wants to quit. Now I'm no fool, I know it's not something that's easily quit (Having done so myself, 5 years ago), but every time he lights one up I envision that his life span slowly decreases, and as one of my closest friends that's painful to think about possibly having to attend his funeral. Now I'm also aware that it's a silly viewpoint, anyone can die at any point for any number of reasons. But I think about a lot of things often.

 2. Is highly addicted to gaming, to the point where reality has little meaning.
Now it sounds excessive, but I'm 90% sure that if his PC / gaming devices died, and there was no way to get a new one he would actually be struck with the reality of life. Now the longer this happens, the harder reality is to accept. He says he'd be bored, which is probably now true. But he wasn't born on a PC, and used to spend a lot of time outside just messing about. Now as Jeff is in his mid 20's it's not as if I'd expect him to hang out at the arcades, but I think the problem is that he hasn't found a real passion. Gaming isn't even a passion of his, just a way to kill time otherwise he'd look into screen play, level design, sound design, storytelling, user experiences or even make youtube / blogs about games he reviews.
I might be wrong, but to me, gaming is to him what watching the TV is to others, a past time, a window of enjoyment that can never last, but more importantly, detracts you from what is real.
Basically I think the guy still needs to find his passion / hobby / interest.

3. Has low self worth.
For many reasons which are not for me to discuss, life has told this guy you're not good enough. Reality is that this guy is great! He has solid opinions that even if he's talking to someone with the opposite viewpoint he'd eventually say "fair enough" and not hold it against someone.
Respecting peoples opinions, more so when they differ to your own shows a high level of maturity and advancement in compassion.

4. There is no 4. See, what a great friend this guy makes!

Fun Jeff Fact# 2: For someone who has a fairly unhealthy diet and lifestyle, Jeff can backflip, front flip and pretty much any other crazy thing on a trampoline.


All I really want to talk about, past wise, is that no matter what I've been like (and I've been many things) he has been a constant. I really think highly of the guy and just want him to realise that he's 25. He's seen little of the world and has nothing tying him down, whenever he finds the whale (Read last post for reference) no matter where I am, I'll help him track it down.



PRESENT:

(This photo is old, but it's purpose is still used today)
Oddly, this is one of my most sensitive photos, it has huge significance to me.

I took this photo 4 months deep in depression (around 5 years ago), on a cocktail of meds and I took this photo.

What is important is that when I took this photo, I thought I was smiling and taking a flattering selfie in good light and looking happy.

The reality is that the drugs made me a zombie, I had grown what can only be described as a homeless beard, I was overweight and sleeping constantly. When I saw the image (some time later) it made me realise what the drugs and depression had turned me into, I didn't like it and made some big changes.

I show myself this image very often, to remind me when I've fallen that I've not even fallen as close to the bottom of the pit as I had before, and if I had the power to crawl back up that jaggard cliff, I can do so again.

Never give up.


THE FUTURE:

The future is looking interesting, with these large projects in the works I plan for the future to buy a really high-end graphics tablet and a high profile laptop so I can do digital painting on the move.

After work, and Gym I'm beat, I'm calling this post for tonight.


FINAL WORDS: (Like Jerry Springer hahaha)

Hold onto good friends, good friends will be there for you no matter what or how long you've not spoken. Make sure to let them know that you appreciate them.

Never let your past dictate your future, but importantly learn from it.

And lastly, keep trying new things and upping your game at what you think you know. You'd be surprised what more can be discovered!

Peace.

Past, Present and Future #1

It's been a while readers, a good while all the same!
I've been working on a few fairly large scale projects and as exciting / terrifying as some of them appear to be this blog has fallen to the sidelines.

Between, fitness, work, projects, nutrition and planning I've simply not had the time to properly engage in this, which I'm not really sorry for. I mean after all being busy has been very beneficial to me and it's not as if I've had a great deal of engaging topics to discuss.

I've decided to start a little series of posts, I'm not sure for how long they will be but as the title suggests these will be about the past, present and future. Without further adieu, let us begin!


THE PAST:

This Photo was taken around 2009, so a good 6 years ago, I've changed so much physically speaking since this was taken and I suppose I've changed mentally even more so.

The story behind this photo is one that lends a hand to my heart; adventure.

My father called me that day to talk about something that I no longer remember and before he ended it he mentioned toward the conversations end that he had spotted a dead whale on the beach (miles and miles away from the road, across a channel of water, miles of marshland and nearly half a mile of sand in the distance).

Now dead whales on our beaches are not that uncommon, maybe one every 2-3 years. I've always wanted to be one of the people to take a few of the deceased animal's teeth to aid my habit of owning strange things but every time one washes up, you arrive to find that the tooth fairy had visited long before you.
I couldn't waste time, who knows how long it had been there today!
I rushed off, grabbed my flatmate who was off work and together me and her started the long adventure to find the fallen giant. Halfway across the murky and somewhat dangerous marsh we say a giant laying on the beach, too far away to tell a shape but definitely viewable, and definitely giant.

Now to cut a long adventure short, distance can alter perspective, what appears giant, small, what is small, giant.

And this photo is me, standing on the whale.

You might think this seemed like a fools errand, hours of walking through difficult terrain seeking a treasure that never existed, but for me this is a clear and distinct metaphor for life.

I was happy, not because I got to see and steal some whale teeth, but because I got to share an adventure with my flatmate / best friend. We got to find our treasure, it wasn't the whale or the log... it was the journey.

For me this instilled my love for travel and adventure, for me, journeys are the meaning of life and their outcomes almost abstract to the point of irrelevance.

THE PRESENT:

This Photo is only a handful of days old, I took it while sitting on an embankment overlooking the same marshland I trudged across in search of the fallen whale.

I decided that a lot of my own personal issues stemmed from a natural intolerance for thoughts when I'm alone. Honestly I'm thinking non-stop about many subjects and a lot like when you're at a party or sitting next to people constantly talking on the train, sometimes I want to climb into my skull, slap my consciousness and yell "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!". So I tend to spend a lot of time not alone.

Even when I am "alone" at home, working on the PC you'll find 90% of the time I'm talking to someone on Skype / Facebook / Social Networks. I'm naturally very social, I know that, but I also think I use people to quieten down the rabble echoing around my skull.

So recently I've decided to deal with myself, I now spend periods of the day alone, outside looking at the sky and nature, it calms the noise and lets me take real time to think. Not about anything in particular but I allow myself to breath, and instead of suppressing the noise, I now listen to it. And you know what? I'm learning more about myself, my shortcomings and my strengths daily. I've had ideas and concepts for projects flooding in, years of suppressed mental activity let out into the playground, and I regret nothing more than not doing this sooner.

Give yourself some time to be yourself.

THE FUTURE:

The future is something I'd often look toward, plan now so that things may fall into place later, but I suppose the future is a lot like looking for a dead whale washed up on a beach. While you're walking forwards heading in the direction of that solum silhouette take a moment. Take a moment for yourself to look around at the things you've passed, be careful on what you have to tread on to reach your goals and don't be too surprised if that whale you've spent so long looking for turns out to be a tree.

Just because you're not sure if that big thing in the distance is the whale you've been searching for, doesn't mean you shouldn't have a go looking for it, who knows, you might take away more than you bargained for.

Your future is countless threads branching off, which one you take is mostly up to you.

As for me, I'll strive to work hard everyday to find my whale (I'm starting to understand what it is now) and if you want anything worth having in life don't expect it to come easy. Work hard, grit your teeth with a smile of satisfaction and enjoy the ride.

No matter what, no marathon was run standing still, make sure that regardless of size, a step forward is a step closer.

Thanks for reading, fellow whale hunters.

Spiraling out of control.

MOTIVATION, AND HOW IT CAN SPIRAL OUT OF CONTROL:
Today I've witnessed what happens to all of us eventually, the spiral out of control that breaks us from dedication, consistency and determination.

Since December I've not been to the gym, now this might seem a little odd for someone that visits on an almost daily basis but this was the construct of a set of actions which have led me to today.
Today I weighed myself and I've gained the better half of a stone (8lbs). I've consciously eaten really well over December but critically, and more importantly, been eating the calorie amounts that I would consume if I was still hitting the gym hard and forgetting about my deficit. A small yet critical error.

I was brought back to my thought process that led me here, the me now and the differences between today's me versus the me of late September.

Late September's me:
"I'm going to drop the gym for a month, give my body a long rest and focus on other things and come back strong in January"

This was great in practice, I had a good December (minus a miserable Christmas) and I think my body got the rest it needed. However I've unconsciously partaken in a clean bulking phase as a result of not managing my nutrition and calorific intake.

A series of events have rolled out and caused today's me.
Today's me is half a stone heavier, a little lethargic and sitting on the second of February without still having gone to the gym. Today's me looks out of the window, thinking "I should go for a run" and then looking at the rain, finding an excuse not to.

Now that you have a perspective on today's me I'm going to go over the point's that put me here where I am. Identifying a problem and it's causes will help aid in a solution!

DECEMBER:
I decided to focus my time onto some of my big projects that I hope to generate income from, one of these is a novel I'm currently 20 chapters through writing.
This takes up all my free time in the days, writing, reading and editing.
Before I' aware, Christmas and the perpetration for it take place.

A few days later, New years eve happens and me and my partner travel to Paris to see in the new year, one of my goals from last year that I was soo happy to write off!!
During the trip to Paris I had an epiphany about my life. It was ok, but not the life I grew up wanting, I realized that with a lot of work, I could live the life I wanted. I have to buckle down, work hard and get my two big projects off the floor.

Upon returning to the UK, my time, efforts and perspective changed direction towards creating a life for myself that I want, there really are less limits when you take off the ones you place on yourself!

JANUARY:
I worked hard making more content for the book and started seriously developing another big project that aims to deliver a card game. I drink a lot of coffee and spend long stints indoors designing, writing and editing.

The payoff? My fitness goals fell to the side, life brushed them aside and I've become very aware that I now have the painful re-introduction to daily exercise, the kind that anyone wanting to change their life has to endure.

THE WORST PART of exercising is the breaking in, forming a routine and sticking to it for a few weeks to turn that effort into instinct.
Septembers me of yesterday had good intentions, but it started a chain of events off that caused me to neglect my efforts. Today's me is apprehensive and looking onto the re-starting with a grimace.

However... I need to tell you something.

Yesterdays me was foolish, today's me is lazy but we haven't covered tomorrow's me.
Tomorrow's me is going to look for a way to integrate both, work hard and work out harder, nail the nutrition and get back on track. Because success and exercise are tied in as one, they synergize and help the other.


Daily Exercise Grants Me:

• General Health Improvement.
• Serotonin to make you feel happier.
• The Ability to wake up fresh.
• Focus and clarity.
• Something other than my work to focus on.
• Lets me make meeting my health and fitness goals easier.
• Self confidence.

All these aspects will aid me in my work, I won't be sat in the rain clutching a coffee cup to keep awake because my sleep has been bad. I won't need that same coffee to kickstart me into work in the mornings. I won't be miserable and laying in bed thinking of nothing more than the projects, rolling around my head.

So here is an idea.

Why do people as a whole, those that do not actively exercise, look upon it with distress?

It's because the hardest part of changing your nutrition, attending classes or just finding the motivation to exercise is the first few weeks.
That's the time you have to make the effort with no rewards and all the punishment.

You drag yourself off your sofa, go to the gym, have a workout that may or may not have had all your effort in and then return home, tired and maybe even a little sore, to top it off a new found post gym hunger is sabotaged because you've decided to (un-wisely) follow some fad diet.

It's the people that push on, keep up consistency and keep going that start to notice something change, the feeling of exercise becomes enjoyable (Trust me on that one), you'll notice that you feel lighter, clearer and in-tune.

The problem is when you break that consistency and revert back to low levels of activity, you get comfortable, less active and lazy.

The trick is to...

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
Not at the weekend, not tomorrow... right now. Do something, and keep doing it for a few weeks and you'll kickstart yourself back in!

"Oh Kiko I'm afraid I've not exercised in a while / ever, there is no hope for me"

Wrong. If my own mother in her 60's can just start going for walks and look at her diet, so can you.

It's only too late when you're dead, make the changes. Make an effort and do it now!
(Just keep it simple to start with)

With that, I'm off for a run, time to get myself back together.

Thanks for reading!!

Real Changes and how to make them last.

Welcome back, I've missed you. I know it's been quite around here and that is because for the most part I had run out of things to say.

Originally I used to post to this blog almost daily, and while that was an amazing time I realise eventually I was struggling to have anything of value to say. Well now I have things to say, so as a result...

I'M BACK BABY! 

Too much? Naa never too much. 

So what have I been up to?

Well I set myself a goal last year:

"I refuse to spend another new years celebration in the UK"

And this year I spent it in Paris! It was the first time I'd ever been to France and I'd recommend it to anyone. Friendly people, tolerant (to my poor french) shop owners and a very simple to use metro system made for a pleasant stay indeed.

I'm not one for resolutions, I've always been a firm believer that the best approach is to make life changes, you know, permanent changes to the ways in which we live and learn and this year is no different.

I do however, believe in goal setting, and this year I've got a lot going on!

This Christmas was one of the worst I've had. period. But instead of letting that get me down I've decided to use that as fuel for my fire to get me through the early parts of this year. In martial arts like Judo and Wing Chun you use the overwhelming force and weight of an opponent as a weapon against them. I'm basically doing that with life, if I go through a bad spell I don't let those knocks take me down, instead I use them to temper my blade... ok too many metaphors but the jist of it is simple:

> Have a bad Christmas.

> Use that pain to work hard to make the next better.

This was predominantly a fitness and health blog, well now it will become a LIFE blog. One good thing to come from Christmas was a small but cherished gift from a close friend. I was lucky to receive a set of metal Kanto badges (these are the badges you get awarded in the video game Pokemon Red and Pokemon Blue for essentially beating bosses).

Now my problem was, where to put these badges? While very awesome I do not have many places for them. I sat and had a long think, and even wore one (the boulder badge, my favorite) on my suit I wore to the London Boat Show, it looked good.

Anyway, I had a thought about those badges. Half the pride in the games was that you earn them, and they feel important because of the hardships you had to go through to obtain them.

What a lovely concept, earning them.
So I decided to earn mine too, give them an important merit for each one.

My MAIN 2015 goals, all set out. Once I achieve one I get to wear the badge, otherwise they stay in my safe. This will give each badge weight and actively represent goals and hardships I've undertaken.

As you can see in the goals, Tough Mudder (or similar events) have been on my to-do list for too long, the main issue I have with this is as a weight lifter I do lack in long range cardio endurance. I run more than average lifters but not enough. Now luckily tough mudder is only 12km, and also luckily my father used to run marathons yearly, he's old school but I have a pool of knowledge to pull from, now 60 years old he still runs now and then and is built muscular much like myself so if anyone is good to seek advice from it is him. I will book the tough mudder soon, forcing myself to train for it, if I can get to 10km comfortably then thanks to my other training I should be ok with the obstacles the events throw at you, and of course I'll document it all on here.

I've cut down on my meat consumption, not because I've become vegaterian or even want to, but more because I believe that here in the west that we just eat too much and that it does have some negative impact on the body.

Nutrition: 

- More water

- No carbonated drinks except sparkling water

- 50% veg plates for main

- Full fat milk (arguably the best for you when coupled with a healthy lifestyle) and proper unsalted butter, margarine is poison there is a reason even insects won't eat it.

- No fast food until my birthday (April)

- Wholegrain wheat flour, brown bread (as good as it gets)

- Avoid sugary substances except fruit

- No late night snacking. (caught myself doing it the other night)

- On non-training days, must not eat as if I was (been making that mistake)

Last thoughts, if you want to make changes do not feel you need to wait for new years to make them. You're capable of setting any date as a date to turn your life around.

The time I quit smoking, I had just bought a pack of 20, I opened it took one out, and then just thought. No. I'm not a slave to you. And crunched up the pack and threw it away.

It was hard, yes, but I did it. I do not smoke and it's been 4 years, I don't even like the smell anymore.

Only 2 things need to be done if you want to make lasting life changes:

1) Do it now, right now, no "I just need to X" or "Let me have one last Y" Just. Do. It.

2) Be consistent. If you falter, and we all do, just get up, start from then and carry on. The longer you're not doing that thing that makes you sad / unhappy / unhealthy the longer you're not sad / unhappy / unhealthy, get it?

Anyway, thanks for reading and PEACE!